You know you’ve been spending too much time with your horsey friends when you forget to clarify in normal conversation that your love of thrusters, whips and spurs is all in relation to horses…

1. You can’t beat 16 hands between your legs

2. I love the black hairies

3. I was very well mounted last Saturday

4. You have to get your leg on

5. I had to grip with my knees in case I fell off

6. I’ve got a big coloured chap

7. It’s better with a whip and spurs

8. I put him out for an hour and he blew up

9. He had a bad attitude, so we castrated him

10. I like going under that judge!

11. If he’s naughty, grab his upper lip tightly

12. I was listening to his gut last night

13. He’s had 64 babies!

14. He’s a real thruster

15. The mother is black, the father’s white and the baby’s black with white spots

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